Monday, September 20, 2010


Last year I became deeply obsessed with Wendy’s French Fries. I can’t explain how or why it happened. The once-or-twice-a-year treat turned into a weekly obsession. The fries were skinny and salty enough and they didn’t make my stomach churn like McDonald’s French fries (which taste like sanitary napkins in my humble opinion). I don't like my fries meaty and brown either, and fuck home fries. They’re called “home fries” for a reason – YOU MAKE THEM AT HOME! In my experience Wendy’s fries are an irreplaceable fried and salty delicacy. You can only get them at Wendy’s after all. Ever since 2009, I have developed an obsession with Wendy’s fries and probably gained 10 lbs unnecessarily. Now I can laud myself as a “Professional French Fry Taster”. Watch out, wine tasters, because there’s a new food movement coming and it has nothing to do with bacon, but definitely has a lot to do with burgers. When Wendy’s isn’t around, I can rely on these fellow franchises for my favourite French fries. An ode to the French, mais oui!

We already talked about how amazing these fries are. They are my #1 smash hit, off the charts classic. Some people find them soggy and gross, but their crisp is phenomenally comforting. Just salt them right and don’t serve them too hot. 10/10.

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Truthfully, when a Wendy’s is nowhere near, A&W fries make a great substitute. They are meaty fries but with just enough crisp to tide me over. Plus, who doesn’t want to go to a franchise that sells miniature baby burgers? 8/10.

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I honestly think IKEA needs to open cafes in the city that only sell food. IKEA furniture is one thing, but let us be frank – we all go to IKEA to have a little meal or two. It’s as exciting as a 2nd grade field trip. Favourite thing to order? The kid’s meatball special, equipped with some of the finest fries I’ll ever eat, and the cheapest. 8/10.

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Harvey’s has excellent burgers but I get a little depressed by their fries. They’re just not the same. I could make better French fries in my own oven and deep fryer (if I was fat enough to own one). I’ll pass on these and just get the veggie burger, or even the poutine. 5/10.

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Hero Burger probably has the best burger a franchise could ever sell in Canada. You can taste the lack of preservatives. And the fries? Oh the fries! A fantastic Wendy’s substitute! Although last time they tasted a little bitter and I waited a long time for them (at the Queen West location), they were satisfactory. But Hero Burger is not the place to be eating fries solamente, a burger made from 100% certified Canadian beef is quite mandatory. 7/10.

1 comment:

  1. ikea meatballs make me go back everytime and i don't even need furniture.

    tbh i enjoyed how you slipped a pharrell lyric in there.