WORLD CUP: PASS THAT DUTCH

So, the World Cup 2010 in South Africa is finally over with Spain deservedly taking the World Cup. I was a Dutch (and Danish, and German) supporter all along yet somehow I don’t feel bummed out about Spain winning. They are a good team with the Euro championship from 2008 under their belt. What startles me is that this is Spain’s first World Cup win; neither Spain nor the Netherlands had won since World Cup’s inception.

To get a kick-start of my Dutch cheering, I ate some hagelslag while listening to both countries’ national anthems. Both sound like funeral themes. The only football teams with vivacious and trumpeting operas as their anthems seem to be Uruguay and Brazil. Happiest anthems ever? Definitely.


Hagelslag, a Dutch treat, is really just chocolate sprinkles on toast

I contemplated what the win would mean for tiny Netherlands, a country of 16 million with a strong taste for orange despite the red, white and blue flag. From 1652 to 1759, the Dutch colonized South Africa through the Dutch East India Company. Insert pages and pages and books and books of history here. The South African language changed and so did the culture; whites prevailed over blacks through decades of ongoing ethnic tension still apparent today. There were slaves, racial battles, and eventually, the Boer War in 1880 – the war of independence for South Africa – where Boers or Dutch farmers rebelled against British colonization. Another Boer war broke out in 1899 where Brits used concentration camps and found that most of their men were physically unable to fight.

I’m not sure if South Africans were generally cheering on the Dutch once their home team was eliminated, but it sure would be ironic if Netherlands took over South Africa...again. And wouldn’t it be an amuse-bouche of politics if the Brits made it to the finals against Netherlands. Europe’s cup in Africa seems like a familiar story.

All that vaguely written history aside, the match was a bit of a disappointment. The vuvuzelas were in full throttle at high speed and volume while the sophisticated navy jerseys triumphed over the silly and flamboyant orange ones. Foul after injury after yellow card after penalty after free kick, at 116 minutes the Spanish finally scored their single goal by Andrés Iniesta. Dutch player Arjen Robben’s was dangerously fast and sneaky. Even though 85% of the team won yellow cards, I’ll never forget his fancy footwork.


Paul the Octopus was right; his prediction was Spain for this years World Cup.

It turns out that Paul the Octopus in Oberhausen, Germany was right. Paul usually predicts German games during Euro Cup and World Cup, but this time he predicted Spain to win during the match against Holland. He is a coveted psychic. Two flags in containers are dropped into his aquarium, both equipped with mussels. The container that Paul opens with his mighty tentacles is the team he chooses as the winner of each match. So far, he has been correct about every single prediction except Germany vs. Spain at Euro Cup 2008. So, if you’re a disappointed fan who was never cheering for Spain, don’t bother advocating for Paul’s transformation from octopus to sushi since he is now retiring. He’s actually wiser than us all. And really, hearing news about Paul's freakishly accurate predictions was the greatest highlight and most memorable aspect of my World Cup this year.

Guys, I couldn’t help myself. After the Figure Skating Gala and the Closing Ceremonies, there was no way that I could *not* have just one more Olympic fashion post. I take this seriously, haha. The Olympics are indeed over but the outfits (uhh yeah, and the sports and medals) will be forever etched in our minds. Even for the Olympic haters out there, you loooove it. Enjoy!

don't:

more weird prints



US Four-Man Bobsled Team

Somebody decided that wearing a star-spangled raincoat over star-spangled nylon pajamas would be a good idea. This is concerning, not cutesy. Bedtime, not ceremonies.



George Gray: Men’s 50km Cross Country

Poor Canadian George Gray was 5th in place in this race. It made me sad seeing him cry on TV. But his suit also made me sad. He is so much better than the stretchy suit of ugliness that drags him down.

eurotrazch



Aliona Savchenko and Robin Szolkowy, Germany // Miki Ando, Japan

Both of these outfits scream of Eurotrash – Aliona’s white pants paired with cheap sparkly shirt only reminds me of an outfit you’d see at Roxy Club in Prague. I don’t even think the discount rack at Stitches would carry such a monstrosity. Miki Ando looks like a 90s desert disaster – perhaps she was visually channeling “Desert Rose” by Sting or “Sandstorm” by Da Rude. Sandy beige and ruby tones? Weird, and not so natural. I get it, but it doesn’t work.

do:

k.i.r. (keeping it real) on ice



Joanne Rochette, Canada // Mao Asada, Japan



Kim Yu Na, South Korea

Stunning outfits on ice. Good job ladies! Interesting choices. Would.

boots



Men’s Curling Canada

I’d let the men’s curling team step on me any day with those tres gangsta combat-style boots. They definitely stepped all over Norway’s team to get gold. Hudson’s Bay Company? You have done it again.

good design



Speed Skating Nederlands

Fuck, how hot do these Dutch men look? This honestly looks like the most comfortable outfit ever, and the cuts of the jackets and pants are flawlessly flattering. Would.

ready to wear: mounties



Admit it, you’ve always wanted to wear a mountie outfit out to town but were afraid of looking too Canadian-clearly-influenced-by-England. This feminine version of the mountie outfit is a modern twist on a classic piece, just how a good "updated" uniform should be. Add a little fierceness and sexiness and you have yourself a winner. Does The Bay carry these?!

neil young



Neil Young is the best folk musician of all time. Sorry. Fashionable? He is beyond that.

undecided



Oksana Domina and Maxim Shabalin, Russia

Still undecided on this Matrix-inspired theme. I love black & shine, but this honestly feels very Russian. I could see Russian kids wearing shit like this to a rave, PVC and all. At least the skaters semi-pulled off all the black with an interesting theme and story.

Due to popular demand, I have compiled content for another Olympic fashion entry. My findings just keep getting better and better. The more ridiculous suits out there, the more fun my job is. With only 2 days left of Olympic festivities, who knows what we’re going to see on the world stage in terms of sly performance and fashion forward-ness? Unfortunately I haven’t been able to get pictures of ALL the great outfits and jackets, but this is what I have for now. Behold, Olympic Fashion Do’s & Dont’s: Part II. Tell all of your boyfriends and your girlfriends.

do: graphic suits – fitted and baggy



Tina Maze of Slovenia for Alpine Ladies/giant slalom
I had to think about this one for a while. I do like the graphic lines – it’s very Balenciaga. The colours aren’t obnoxious which is always great. I am into the robotic look, what can I say?



Stephanie Beckert of Germany for speed skating.
Oh, speed skating: my first true discovery of Olympic fashion. I like how the black, yellow and red merge into each other in this tight-knit, high-contrast, pixelated graphic way. I could see a textile being made of a similar design for a dress or a flowy top. A sleek, eye-catching and innovative use of the German flag.





I am FULLY impressed by these suits influenced by Japanese Harajuku street style and Comme Des Garcons. It’s actually fantastic how these outfits emit “Japanese” in their own unique way. Polka dots, stripes, crazy colours and patchwork – does this scream Japan to you yet? You could wear this on the streets of Tokyo and people would love you forever. You could wear it to the club and people would be jealous of you for having such a trendy outfit. Ha!



Manfred Oettle Reyes of Peru

At first glance, this is a fashion don’t, but the textile is very relevant to Peru which I find to be adorable. Llamas, alpacas, and ancient Inca culture all play a role in this outfit, and although it has too many colours, I dig it overall as a textile print. It would obviously be more beautiful as a nice woven knit, but this is the Olympics – nylon and breathable fabric all the way!

don’t: graphic suits – hideous



Kwame Nkrumah-Acheampong of Ghana
In the words Tim Gunn, “This concerns me”.



This suit from Mexico is a definite DO NOT. What is going on in this picture? That fake belt kills me. This is so cartoony it’s slightly embarrassing. Emphasis on crotch = concerning! Rust on grey on red = sad! No continuity whatsoever. Poor dude :(



Dear Ireland: WHAT?!?! It took me a while to understand which country this athlete was representing, and then I realized the clovers on the suit. Ugh, really? First of all, the colours look like someone puked up vegetable stew. Ireland could have been way more creative and less vomit-inducing with the design of this suit. I’m seriously disappointed and expected more from Ireland. You don’t ever blend orange and green together with a hint of white, unless you want a liquor shot of “Irish Flag” (baileys, crème de menthe and brandy) tumbling around in your belly. I am in distress.

do: simplistic figure skating outfits


Rachael Flatt of USA; Kiira Korpi of Finland



This might sound odd, but I am reminded of many Preen spring collections when I look at this outfit. Maybe if Preen were to meet Diane Von Furstenburg on ice, it might look something like this. Just get rid of the white skin-coloured fabric. That tone is meant for bras.



Kim Yu-Na of South Korea

I know that dance outfits are allowed to be outrageous, sparkly, unconventional and bold, but I have always favoured simplicity in visual aspects of the sport. A little embellishing never hurts, but a lot of embellishing sometimes distracts and is confusing. Rarely have I seen uber-embellishment taken to a chic level, except for maybe Kim Yu-Na of South Korea. Loving the geometry of the front design – it is complex because of the glitter and tiny squares, yet simple because it doesn’t scream “Pick me! Pick me!” with those colours. The blue and red outfits? De-spandexify it and it’s ready to wear.

do: olympic street style



Estonian figure skaters Irina Shtork and Taavi Rand know how to make snowflakes work. I love the weight and graphic texture of the snowflakes on the jackets. Estonia only has one medal, but I’m giving them a second one: cutest Olympic street style. (Globe and Mail)



Ukranian journalist Yuliya Pazenko gets gold for this cute and hilarious coordination. Not gonna lie, if I were a Whistler-prancing snow bunny I’d probably coordinate too. Admit that you want those snowboots. (Globe and Mail)

don’t: questionable headgear



Tina Maze of Slovenia





I’m confused by these cartoons! Not feeling the eyeball helmet, and I don’t even want to comment on the unicorn. As for the Swedes, totally hilarious. Fans will inevitably make questionable decisions when supporting their favourite team/country.

do: jersey appeal



Finland’s jersey wins me over with its appealing medieval inspired crest. I couldn’t find a picture of the women’s hockey team winning their bronze medals, but they all looked so cute! They came out in aqua-blue jerseys, black pants and black riding-esque boots. I loved every second of it, totally adorable! They had amazing haircuts too. This jersey is very eloquent for a sport that is unabashedly violent at times. For those who don’t know, “Suomi” means Finland in Finnish.

don’t: not wearing a jersey



Yeah, I know that those HBC hockey jerseys are $200 and up. I guess these guys couldn’t afford that (understandably) and just opted for body paint instead. Let’s just hope the boys wore sweaters when they were out on the streets of VanCity. Under-dressing for winter = biggest fashion don’t of all time.

do: HBC hoodies



Behold: the impossible hoodie! Hudson’s Bay Company launched their Olympic collection recently, but time after time, these Canada hoodies have sold out along with the infamous red Olympic mittens. What a bummer it is; I really like the hoodie. It’s pure mint for casual sportswear and makes a bold statement, especially in black (which is the hoodie I lust after). They are thick with layers of cotton, like a good strong hoodie should be.

do: lines



Anna Holmlund of Sweden, ski cross



Karolina Reimen of Poland, ski cross



Katrin Zeller of Germany, ski cross

Loving the simplistic lines here. Poland is keeping it slick with the white-on-black grid pattern. Sweden makes ski cross look tasteful with the long vertical line running down the leg. Germany showcases the legs in an interesting and graphic manner. It’s all about those flattering curvy lines, but I’d like to see more vertical and horizontal lines interacting on sports suits as seen with Sweden and Poland.

don’t: crying because you won a silver medal



USA Women’s Hockey, this one goes to you. I hope you look back on your medal ceremony footage and realize how silly you were to sulk through the whole thing as if it were a funeral. Be proud of the silver medal, or give up your medals to a country that would appreciate them. Only a handful of your players cracked a tiny smile at the ceremony while others fought off their tears, whereas Finland (who took bronze) was ecstatic to get a medal. Don’t waste your tears. USA still has more medals than anyone else!

Surely Canada is in an Olympic frenzy these days. I've been watching the games day and night cheering for this country, hoping that we can pick up as many medals as possible and make new records worldwide. One thing I've been keen to is analyzing the outfits of many athletes competing this year. Surprise surprise. Although the games aren't a fashion show, there have been a lot of good and bad fashion moments thus far that need to be documented. The point is not to be an eyesore - plenty of which manifest within figure skating, but that's a whoooole other blog in itself. Ladies, gents and baby animals, I present to you the Fashion Do's and Don'ts of Vancouver Olympics 2010.

do: speed skating outfits




Kyle Parrot, Christine Nesitt and Kristina Groves

This is going to be hard to back up, but I love the Canadian speed skating outfit and I can't explain why. There's something about the gradient of black/white/grey/red that turns me on. I guess big thighs and camel toes could be turn on's for some people as well. The entire upper part of the outfit would be totally marketable as a cotton hoodie or sweater - at least I'd wear it on a casual day. I love cut outs and x-shapes across the chest, it screams BADASS!

do: cool skeleton helmets


John Montgomery

What a rude boy helmet that is. Skeleton's are known for having very detailed and graphic helmets, and I like how this is graphically simple. It also pays a homage to some form of aboriginal turtle, which is fitting for Vancouver's overall theme.

do: modern & minimalistic floral print




Russia's women's curling team


Ivan Skobrev, speed skating

Wowza, am I impressed by Russia's sweaters! As a huge sucker for khokhloma floral patterns and Russian imagery in general (see: Matryoshka dolls), I totally would introduce these ultra-modern sleek sweaters into my closet. As for the picture of Skobrev's bulge (among other things), I do love the graphic contrast with typical Russian architecture (St. Basil's cathedral? The Kremlin?). It flows very nicely.

do: tasteful blue & yellow combinations


I guess I am biased but I dig these sweaters/any yellow-blue combination in general. I like how the Olympic logo is dealt with in an original way on the back of the sweater; it still stays true to Sweden with the iconic tre kronor.

do: military jackets on ice



Patrick Chan was a competitor of Canada's men's figure skater who unfortunately didn't get a medal this time around but gave us a stellar performance. I just want to point out his slick military-style jacket that oddly reminds me of many jackets that have stomped down the runways.

do: elegance in figure skating





Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir were the most elegant couple on ice I've seen in a long time. Let's be honest, figure skating outfits can be very kitschy, literal and costumey. The outfits do have to stand out but that's no excuse; figure skaters gain points for elegance over cheesiness. Winning Canada's gold means that Russia did not win for once - not since 1960 has a non-Russian competitor won the gold in ice dancing. This also means that Virtue and Moir are the first to win gold in North America. Looking good and having mad skillz pays off?

don't: argyle


Yeahhh...not going to comment on this one. Way too obnoxious for one of the world's most boring sports. Sorry Norway, you were much better in women's ski cross.

don't: jeans and plaid in snow


Shaun White, moguls


Lindsey Vonn, alpine

Yeah, I can't deal with how casual these outfits are. They're just so...American? Pink plaid with ads plastered all over it = not so innovative nor fresh. But JEANS?! Snowboarding/moguls in jeans, you have got to be kidding me. This isn't high school. I'm all for interesting patterns on jackets, but Shaun White barely looks like he's wearing a jacket. Just how casual and trendy can you go in the snow?

don't: everything about johnny weir





I definitely almost typed "Johnny Weird", American figure skater who is known for channeling "Lady Gaga" among other diva's. Although his skating was near flawless, I just couldn't jive with his outfits. That pink/black number honestly looks like it's from the discount rack at Hot Topic. It's too much, and lacks taste. Luckily for Johnny, Rodarte designed a knit skating suit for him. Although I have no interest in seeing his bare ass shining through the flawless threads of Rodarte, it's still pretty cool that they did this for all American athletes.

Overall, America: not impressed. Not only do you teef all of the medals due to your sheer size and economic value, but the style sense of your athletes is questionable.

undecided: black & gold



I'm the biggest fan of black, gold, and details, but I still feel undecided about Japan's speed skating outfit. It might have worked better if it was black with gold accents. Too flashy.